Anger is nothing more than a positive sign that your boundaries have been crossed by learning to manage your anger is key to being in control of your mental health.
It could arise from someone attacking something you believe in or violating something you value. It also happens so fast, but its effects can have a lasting impact on your health, especially if you constantly feel on edge.
Here are some tips that will help you manage your anger and restore your ‘cool’
- Think before you speak
Give yourself space to think over what you want to say. This will save you from saying things you will regret later. Allow others a moment to collect their thoughts too.
The more you practice giving yourself, and others, a moment to think, the better you will soothe yourself and learn to manage your anger more effectively.
- Once calm, express your concerns
As soon as your head is clear and you can think clearly, express yourself in an assertive but non-confrontational manner. State your frustrations, needs, and concerns, in a clear and direct way without the intention to hurt or control others.
- Identify solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you angry, put your mind in a solution-finding state to resolve the issue at hand. I know this can be difficult but remember, some things are simply out of your control. So adopt a realistic approach towards them, identify what you can change, and focus on that.
Anger shows you the problem, but does nothing to fix it. It only makes whatever situation worse.
- Use ‘I’ statements
Trying to place blame or criticize will only increase tension. Use statements with “I” to communicate what the problem is and how you feel. Don’t assume the other person intended to make you upset, be respectful and precise in describing the problem. For example, instead of saying “You never do any housework” say, “I’m upset that you left without offering to help with the dishes.”
- Forgive and forget
If you hold onto anger, it will turn into bitterness, resentment, or a sense of injustice that drowns out positive feelings.
Aiming for reconciliation and forgiveness might help you and others learn from a situation and strengthen your connection or relationship.
- Use humor
Lighten up a bit to diffuse any tension that might come up. It will help you relax your temper and make others more receptive to your feelings.
Employ humor to face what is making you angry, and get perspective on how to handle the situation.