Success is a word we hear almost every day.
We celebrate it. We pursue it. We admire it in others. Yet one of the most important questions many people never stop to ask themselves is:
What does success actually mean to me?
As a multifaceted entrepreneur, Founder of Exquisite Magazine, Founder of ELOY Awards Foundation, author, speaker, and mindset stylist, I have had the privilege of meeting and interviewing some of the most accomplished people across various industries. I have sat with CEOs, entrepreneurs, professionals, creatives, and leaders who have achieved remarkable things.
What I have discovered is that success is not one-size-fits-all.
Society often presents a narrow definition of success. We are told that success is about money, status, titles, awards, luxury lifestyles, and public recognition. While these can certainly be indicators of achievement, they do not automatically guarantee happiness, fulfillment, or peace of mind.
I have met individuals who have achieved extraordinary professional success yet feel disconnected from their families, overwhelmed by stress, or uncertain about their purpose. I have also met people who may not have millions in the bank but enjoy meaningful relationships, good health, fulfilling work, and a deep sense of contentment.
Which of them is truly successful?
The answer depends on the definition they have chosen for themselves. One of the greatest mistakes we can make is spending years climbing a ladder only to discover it was leaning against the wrong wall.
True success begins with self-awareness. It requires us to define what matters most in this season of our lives. For some, success may mean building a thriving business or career. For others, it may mean creating a healthy work-life balance, raising confident children, making a positive impact, enjoying financial freedom, or simply experiencing greater joy and peace.
There is no universally correct answer. Success evolves as we evolve. The definition that served you in your twenties may not be the same definition that inspires you in your forties, fifties, or beyond. Life changes. Priorities shift. New dreams emerge.
The key is to ensure that your definition of success reflects your values rather than society’s expectations.
As part of my Joyfirmed June theme, I encourage you to think from the end and ask yourself:
If I could design a truly successful life, what would it look like? Not what would impress other people. Not what would look good on social media. Not what others expect of you. What would genuinely bring you fulfillment, meaning, and joy?
The most successful people I know are not necessarily those with the most accolades. They are the people who are living in alignment with their values, purpose, and vision for their lives.
Success is not simply about what you achieve. It is about who you become in the process and how you feel about the life you have created.
So before chasing the next goal, promotion, award, or milestone, take a moment to define success for yourself.
Because true success is not found in comparison. It is found in alignment.
And when your life aligns with your values, purpose, and vision, success stops being something you chase and becomes something you experience every day.
By Dr. Tewa Onasanya
