There is a particular kind of exhaustion that busy women carry. It is not just physical tiredness. It is the constant mental checklist. Meetings run into each other. Notifications never really stop. There is always one more task to complete, one more email to send, one more revision to make. The need to always be productive.
The Problem: Burnout is Real
Burnout is more than a rough week or a stressful deadline. It is a steady depletion that builds over time. You feel exhausted before the day even begins. Tasks that once felt manageable now feel heavy. The work gets done, but the energy and enthusiasm behind it are gone.
The Solution: Self Love
When people say “just practice self-love,” it can sound vague or even pretentious. What does that actually mean when your day is built around deadlines and checklists and deliverables?
Respect + Discipline + Maintenance + Grace = Self-Love
Four parts. All ordinary. All necessary.
Respect
Self-love begins with respect. Respect is recognising that you, your body, your mind, and your time matter. It is the practice of acknowledging your own needs, limits, and boundaries without judgment or compromise. Respect means treating yourself as someone whose well-being deserves attention, care, and protection, just as you would treat someone else you value.
Respect is about recognising your own needs, limits, and signals, and acting on them. It’s noticing when your body is tired or hungry, when your mind is overloaded, or when your energy is stretched too thin, and choosing to honour that. It means setting boundaries. Saying no to commitments that will leave you depleted. Pausing when you need rest, even if the schedule is tight. Listening to what your body and mind are telling you and responding accordingly.
Discipline
Discipline is about showing up for yourself consistently. It means following through on the commitments you make to yourself, even when it feels inconvenient. Discipline is what turns self-care from an idea into a habit. It can be as simple as drinking enough water every day, going to bed at a reasonable hour, or making time for movement that your body actually needs.
It can also mean doing the things that make you feel good. It could be reading, cooking, anything at all that makes you smile. When you keep small promises to yourself, you build self-trust. When you ignore them, you slowly weaken them.
Maintenance
There are basics that cannot be skipped without consequences. Maintenance in self-love is about taking care of the practical, everyday things that keep you functioning: your body, your health, and your environment.
Eating regularly and choosing meals that actually fuel you is a form of self-love. Exercising in ways that build strength and energy, whether it’s lifting, walking, or stretching, keeps your body capable and resilient. Grooming and personal upkeep are also part of maintenance: keeping your hair, skin, and overall appearance together. Maintenance is about being able to look in the mirror and love who is staring back at you.
Grace
Grace is giving yourself space when things don’t go perfectly. It’s noticing that some days are messy or overwhelming and responding without adding more pressure. You deserve grace just as much as the next person.
Letting yourself rest when you need it, forgiving mistakes without overthinking them, and adjusting your plans if necessary. Grace doesn’t shirk responsibility. You can acknowledge mistakes without turning them into evidence that you are incapable. You can adjust without attacking yourself. You can rest without framing it as laziness.
The Tea Rule
Another important part of self-love is what we like to call the Tea Rule. It’s about taking a moment to pause on purpose, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Making a cup of tea and actually drinking it, creates a small ritual of care. Boiling the water, choosing your tea, letting it steep, and sitting down to sip it allows you to slow down and reconnect with yourself.
The warmth, the aroma, and the taste all help signal to your body and mind that this moment belongs to you. To experience this fully, join us at Sip & Savour, an Exquisite event designed to celebrate these small, intentional moments of self-love. Take a break, enjoy a cup of tea, and reconnect with yourself. Register now to be part of the experience.
Putting It All Together
Busy women live in a world of deadlines, meetings, and never-ending to-do lists. Plans stack on top of other plans, and there’s always one more thing that needs attention. In the middle of that, self-love can feel like an abstract idea, something nice in theory but hard to put into practice.
The formula is simple: Respect your limits, keep your commitments to yourself, take care of the basics and allow yourself some grace… and occasionally drink a cup of tea❤️
Article Written By Olowolayemo Aliyah
