Status Update: Fabulously Exquisite YOU!

Hey, it’s ok…..

…to share a pillow, soap and maybe even the cold with your boyfriend/husband but never your password. Erm we don’t want to encourage snoopy around
…to keep heels under your desk or in your handbag and communute in trainers or flats. Comfort first!
…to have a huge handbag toh bahd. Its fashionable why not
…if you don’t know what to say sometimes (cant kill, just say “i don’t know what to say”)
…to still squabble like five year olds whenever you’re with your siblings.
…to Google your own name. Well, just to see….

RESCUED RATS

By Joshua Awesome.

An experiment was conducted in which a group of scientists observed some rats in a tank of water to see how long they would survive before drowning. The average time was 17 minutes. They repeated the experiment, this time rescuing the rats just before drowning.
When the “rescued rats” were submerged in the water again, the average survival time increased to 36 hours! The scientists explained that the second time around, the rats had hope and believed they could survive because they had been saved before.
Beginning the second half of this year; you, me, we will thrive regardless of the first half’s outcome. Take a moment to think about the rats “firstly, they made it till the seventeenth minute: only to travel further and farther-thirty; six hours broken down, has two thousand one hundred and sixty minutes” should you want to think outside the box that means we have seventeen minutes in one hundred and twenty seven places, which will be over 100%.
How did the rats surpass their first limit, they had hope and believed they could survive simply because they’ve been saved before. Key words “hope and belief” got them going further and farther from 17mins to 36hrs (2160mins) some 127times longer than their first effort.
English dictionary defines hope as; “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or events will turn out for the best.” The research submissions simply said the rescued rats anticipated things will turn out for the best.
Some school of thought says: “to hope is to risk pain” now if rats saw a reason to hope, expect and believe the best the second time. You, Me, We have no excuse but to believe in a positive outcome relating to the events, situations and daily circumstances of our lives.
Start this second half with hope, expectations stronger than the energy you unlocked in the first half of the year regardless of the experiences past. There’s only one place to begin-within. Walk and work it in your mind, then take action in the direction of your dream, desires and goals.
Joshua Awesome’s a Human Performance Coach, Columnist, Conference/Event Compeer & Adventurer who recently took Nigeria’s flag to the highest African Mountain-Kilimanjaro. Over a decade of experience inspiring, informing about 100,000 individuals simply getting them involved in life. Email him via: awesomecoach@gmail.com

Unmet physical and emotional needs are claimed to be one of the number one reasons why husbands resort to acts of infidelity.

“I’m not pretty enough.” “I’m not sexy enough.” “I haven’t paid enough attention to him, lately”¦” The list goes on and on. These are just a few of the initial thoughts that surface to a scorned woman’s mind after discovering her husband has had an affair.
In contrast, most women are averse to even considering the matter of “why did my husband have an affair?” This question of “why” often remains unanswered for many women, and more so for women who are not willing to look objectively at the relationship, both partners’ behaviors, as well as both spouses contribution to the marriage.
As the old adage goes, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” While in a few situations this may be true, in most cases it is not. Many issues revolve around the reasons for a man to have an affair, but the majority reason for spousal affairs, is based upon a need by the cheating spouse, that has not been met by their partner.
The unmet need may not be easily identifiable, especially as applied to emotional dissatisfaction. Most men, partners, husbands, and mates will genuinely try to be patient with their unknowing spouse. To illustrate, the following list is a compilation of signs or, rather red flags that most likely will draw a spouse’s attention to the fact there may be problems.
- Spending less and less time at home.
- Lack of desire to involve themselves in marital or family activities.
- Emotionally detached or indifferent.
- Unexplained bills; gift items such as jewelry, flower, and hotel room bills.
- He doesn’t come home every night, perhaps claiming overtime at work, or excuses it to a beer with the guys.
- He leaves early from work, or takes extended lunch hour.
- Any issue that reflects actions that is notably out of character for him.
The physical signs are much more obvious; his sexual behavior goes to extremes in an “all or none” fashion. He may want much more sex than normal, or he may desire none. He may also desire sexual acts that are out of character for his “normal” sexual appetite. Your husband may evoke of sense of detachment by not allowing any form of physical touch or affection, much less attend to him physically.
Some husbands may feel neglected due to a spouse’s career, children, and a range of other activities that prevent or lessen the amount of time a wife may spend alone with her husband. He may seek out someone who can unwittingly devote the amount of desired attention.
Most men who have affairs are still very much in love with their wives, but the unmet need draws the couple further apart, especially when it has reached the point of initiating an affair to satisfy the difference.
In few instances does love truly fade”"it was most likely not there to begin with. Love does falter, passion fades, and people age, or become creatures of habit living deep in a rut that the cheating spouse feels is too late to step out of. The grass begins to appear greener elsewhere, and his eye, his heart, and his body may wander, seeking physical or emotional satisfaction from another woman.
People are inherently flawed, but relationships do cycle and grow at reasonably healthy paces when nurtured. An open venue of communication is the most significant factor in avoiding acts of infidelity, whether it is in the form of a one night stand, or long-term affair. Both spouses must be able to communicate their likes, dislikes, and desires without recourse to one another.
Lastly, many women will say that their cheating husband is a “dog,” “a cheater,” and a liar. Some will admit they have gained weight, and perhaps didn’t continue to take care of themselves, while blaming that on children, on chores, and life in general. Many women are simply angry and hurt and go through life carrying some hefty emotional baggage, and never bother to find out the true reason behind their husband’s act of infidelity.

We talk about why women cheat in the next issue.

What You Need To Know About Kidney

Kidney disease is one of the costliest illnesses in the world today and Managing Kidney is very expensive. Each year, lots of people die because of Kidney Disease in Nigeria and all over the world. As recorded, more than 260,000 Americans suffer from chronic renal failure and need dialysis or kidney transplantation to stay alive and more than 35,000 patients are waiting for kidney transplants, but only about 11,000 will receive transplants. Your kidneys are two bean-shaped organs near the middle of your back. Their main function is to eliminate excess fluid and waste material from your blood.
Your kidneys do some important jobs to keep your body healthy such as:
• Balance your body fluids. Excess fluid is filtered out as urine.

• Remove waste products from your blood.

• Remove drugs and toxins from your body.

• Release hormones into your blood to Control blood pressure, Make red blood cells, and to keep your bones healthy.

What are kidney diseases and it causes?

Kidney diseases are diseases of the kidney substance that alter the structure and function of the kidney. There are many diseases of the kidneys such as glomerulonephritis, pyelonephritis & polycystic kidney. The treatment and potential for recovery depends on the type of disease. Kidney diseases can lead to kidney failure. Kidney failure is a condition where the kidneys are incapable of performing its normal function. Certain toxic substances which should have been excreted such as urea and creatinine are accumulated in the body. The two main causes of kidney failure are Diabetes & High Blood Pressure.

Many other conditions can harm the kidneys. These include:
.Glomerulonephritis, a disease that causes inflammation in the kidneys.
.Inherited diseases like polycystic kidney disease, which causes many cysts to form in the kidneys.
.IGA nephropathy or other nephropathy. Essentially an autoimmune problem. Exact trigger not well known.
.Very large, long standing kidney stone.
.NSAID or pain killer like ponstan, voltaren can cause kidney failure.
Risk factors for chronic kidney disease include:
.Diabetes
.High blood pressure
.A family history of chronic kidney disease
.Older age
.Drug overdose, excessive use of alcohol
.Long term use of pain medications such as aspirin, panadol, ibuprofen and treatment with antibiotic.

How to early detect kidney ailments?

1. Blood in urine. Most often not visible. But sometimes may appear tea colour urine.

2. Protein in urine, low urine output.

3. Swelling of face and legs

4.Tiredness, fatigue

5.Pale and sallow complexion

6.Have dry and itchy skin

7.Poor appetite, sometimes accompanied with nausea and vomiting

8.High blood pressure. Especially when it is hard to bring it to good control.

How do you prevent kidney failure?

Early detection can do a lot in preventing deterioration of the kidney function. Kidney failure does not go down the drain in 3 months, or even one year usually. But deteriorate very slowly. Thus getting screening helps.

1. Simple testing of urine with dipstick for protein. If you have 2 positive results over several weeks, please consult Doctor.

2. Have a blood test for creatinine. Once creatinine exit the high control limit of 133 umol/L, the kidney will fail exponentially.

3. 24 hours urine collection for creatinine and urine protein.
4. Ultra sound or CT scan of kidney.

What happens if kidney failure occurs? (End Stage Renal Disease)

Two successful treatments can be done – Dialysis or a Kidney Transplant. These treatments can help you stay healthy and continue your daily activities.

Dialysis is a type of treatment that removes wastes and excess fluid from your blood. 3 forms of dialysis can be done – hemodialysis, peritoneal dialysis and continuous ambulatory peritoneal dialysis (CAPD).

A kidney transplant is an operation to place a new kidney in your body to take over the work of your failed kidneys. The kidney may come from someone who has died or from a living donor who may be a close relatives, friend or possibly a stranger who wished to donate a kidney to anyone in need of a transplant.

How do you keep your kidneys healthy and more resistant to deterioration?

1. Hydrate yourself well. Drink lots of plain water to keep your urine pale most of the time.

2. Avoid unnecessary medication (esp. NSAID and on long term). Look for better alternative solution.

3. Avoid overloading your kidney with protein. Most of us only need about 2 ounces of protein a day! Protein leakage through the kidney filter accelerates the deterioration of kidney function. Consult a renal dietitian if you need help.

4. Keep your cholesterol in good level.

5. Keep blood pressure and sugar in good control.

What women say, what women mean

It’s a cliché that when men talk to women we say exactly what we mean, and when women talk to men every sentence is a spring-loaded mantrap of hidden meaning and subtle criticism.

But it’s true.
At least, it’s true some of the time, particularly when the woman who is talking to you is your wife or girlfriend. The fact is, men use fewer words than women, and quickly get to the point. Women, on the other hand, are masters at using vague language and subtle hints to get what they want.
This can cause a lot of confusion. Quite simply, we just don’t always get it. We miss the hints and pass right over the vague language, in the hope that something more straightforward will come along in a minute or two. Then we get snapped at for not listening properly.
So to help both sides of the gender divide, here’s our girl-speak primer. We’ve compiled a list of the things she says, and an accompanying list of what she might actually mean. As you’ll see, the two can be quite a long way apart.

What she says:
Do you think I look fat in this?
What she means:
Your answer will make or break the entire evening
She’s dropped the bombshell, but were you ready for it? A moment’s hesitation can be fatal.To state the obvious, she is not asking you whether she looks fat in this. She is telling you to reassure her that she is not fat, period. If you ponder the decision or express any sort of ambiguity you can chuck the concert tickets and restaurant reservations straight in the bin.

The only correct answer is, “no, because you don’t look fat in anything,” delivered without a hint of humour or sarcasm. Trust us, this is not the moment to claim your right to freedom of speech.

What she says:
Are you going out with the boys again this weekend?
What she means:
You are not going out with the boys again this weekend, are you?
The difference between “are you going out with the boys this weekend?” and “are you going out with the boys AGAIN this weekend?” is one little word and a whole world of pain.Again, she is not so much asking a question as issuing a warning. She thinks you are not spending enough time with her, and it’s up to you to decide whether you think she’s right.

What she says:
Can you put the toilet seat down?
What she means:
Why are you so useless round the house?
OK, if you have a habit of not putting the toilet seat down, and you are a domestic god in other areas, it might just be about the toilet seat.
But women are skilled negotiators. She may simply be using the toilet seat issue to flag up your more general domestic laziness. She doesn’t want to go in all guns blazing yet, because that would cause a huge row. But she will if she has to.
This is a warning shot across the bows: make an effort round the house or face the consequences

What she says:
I’m going to bed early tonight
What she means:
I’m going to bed early tonight
The only time men do look for hidden meaning and the possibility that what she says is not entirely what she means is when we think sex might be on the cards.
There has to be a reason for her wanting to go to bed early, and that reason is obviously an insatiable desire for our red-hot bods.
Hmm, either that, or she’s knackered, wants to read for a bit before lights out, or simply wants to get away from us for a while.
Sometimes she says exactly what she means. This may be one of those occasions.

What she says:
I’m absolutely fine
What she means:
I hate you. OK, maybe “I hate you” is a bit harsh.But when a woman has cause to tell you she’s absolutely fine, she seldom is.Certainly you can never take such a statement at face value. Why is she telling you she’s fine, when her attitude and demeanour should be all the evidence you need?
What women often mean when they tell you they’re fine is that they’re not fine, but are prepared to save the argument they’re currently brewing for a more suitable time.

What she says:
I need to cut down my spending/cake intake
What she means:
YOU need to cut down your spending/cake intake
Aren’t women lovely? Instead of saying hurtful things like “you’re too fat” or “you spend too much money on rubbish”, they’ll dress up their concern more generally.So ‘the two of us’ might need to diet, or ‘we’ have to get on top of our spending.
If your BMI has been creeping up and your overdraft has hit four figures, it’s time to realise that she probably just means ‘you’.

High Heels and Foot Problem

Many women adore their high-heeled Jimmy Choos or Manolos, but wearing high fashion heels could be hazardous to your health. If you know when to don your fashionable footwear and how often, you could save yourself from corns, hammertoes, arthritis, chronic knee pain and even back problems. Learn how to prevent foot problems, how to save your health and still look fashionable doing so.

When to wear them

One of the biggest issues women face is looking professional at work and many think heels are a must to compliment that power suit. A great tip would be to wear your tennis shoes (especially if your commute involves a lot of walking) to work and bring your heels. If you are at a desk all day long, then wearing heels isn’t a problem. However, if you are in a job where you stand on your feet all day long, find a fashionable flat shoe.
Now, if you have a date or an event after work, wear flats all day and switch to heels later and vice versa. You’ll not only feel better at your after-work event, but your feet will thank you later. If you’re smart about it, you can get away with wearing your Jimmy Choos, without feeling the pain. Also, many of the big designers do a flat shoe or a shoe with a smaller heel of about 2″. This would work great for the office. Another great tip is to not wear high heels every single day. Alternate the days, which will make your life much more comfortable.

Flat shoes are more fashionable

Designers are now making tennis shoes much more comfortable and attractive. You could also get away with wearing tennis shoes to the office if they are the right shoes. Look for black tennis shoes that will blend in with your trousers and black sports jacket. Wearing these is great for your foot health and can prevent some of the most major foot issues associated with heels.

Tips
Only get what you are comfortable with. If you can pull off a 3″ heel and it is comfortable to you, then go for it.
Take a look at your lifestyle. Determine if you can alter it a bit. There’s nothing wrong with wearing tennis shoes to the office and bringing your high-powered heels if that is what you feel comfortable with.
If you have that much wanted high arched foot (should’ve taken those ballet classes) then you are in for a surprise because many times higher arched feet find more comfort in high heels.
Plan ahead: if you know you are going to be walking all over town, bring a spare comfortable pair to get you through it.
Both shoe styles have their pros and cons, but if you take a good look at how you can prevent serious health issues, then you are on your way to creating a comfortable lifestyle. And, remember it doesn’t take high or low heels to be fashionable; it’s the whole package. The most important aspect of style is dressing for you. Remember, family first, health and then fashion.

Can all women wear high heel shoes? Tips for women on wearing high heel shoes. Number one, I think you have to factor in safety and comfort. For example, teeny little shoes with heels that are very, very…

Number one, I think you have to factor in safety and comfort. For example, teeny little shoes with heels that are very, very hard to walk in and that will crack ice, they are hard to wear. I do not think a tall woman should always have to wear flats. I think if she does, it almost emphasizes her tallness. Sometimes in a perfectly flat shoe, a woman will look like she is standing in a hole. So I personally like a little bit of lift. It can be a teeny little lift but it gives a nice silhouette. Right now flats are very in vogue. You always have to balance between what is in fashion and what is most flattering. A petite woman is always better with a medium to low heel. I put them in some type of heel in order to elongate their silhouette.

Things that make us want to scream or cry a little

Emoticons. And phrases LWKMD and ROTFL practically need a new dictionary to understand them.

Men with dreadlocks (okay this might just be me who want to scream)

When shop assistants give you all the small change on top of your receipt and it leaves you all scattered. Yes I’m talking to you Shoprite and game attendant. Pls keep the N20 and kobo’s.

The way some form of black hole swallows up all the redcaps and taxis the moment it starts to rain.

Being put on speaker phone when you don’t know it.

Tweets or facebook statues that emotionally overshare – ‘Tinu thinks some people are fake and when times are hard you find out who really cares’ erm, we all know that!

Love Gidi and Gidi Loves Me

Tosyns Log

Gidi sure has a funny way of showing it sometimes though. Like how Las Gidi ensures i leave my house at 4 just so i can be at work for 6, or else i wouldn’t get to work till 8. Ah well, it is tough love.

What i like about Lagos, Las Gidi, Gidi is, there is always something to do! And for someone like me who thrives on music, energy and people (although i do have my music, television and sleep moments), Lagos provides an ample diet for my needs.

Speaking of diet…
Did i ever mention the one month i decided to go on an Atkins’ diet? Okay o, let me gist you. I belong to this group or ‘thinking’ called ‘Up for Charity’. Basically, you GIVE something UP for one month and then donate proceeds (what you would have normally spent on that habit or product) to CHARITY.

It’s a great way to see if you can let go of some things you feel your life depended on! I have friends who have given up alcohol or their B.I.S for a month! I did Atkins’ and spent my month hungry, and like that was not a good enough deterrent, in April, i decided to give Meat, Chicken and Turkey up. That’s when i realised that all we seem to eat in Nigeria ARE meat, chicken and fish!
Sigh

So back to Lagos and it’s recommended (almost) Daily Allowance of Music, Energy and People! TARUWA returned in a grand way at Bogobiri and boy was i excited! Taruwa has always felt like a night out with your favourite cousins- fun, sometimes noisy, fun! There were performances by long time Taruwa regulars like Bez, and new faces. I particularly loved DTone’s set! He is a male singer-songwriter that i think is one to watch. Then i liked Yemi Alade and Efa’s acapella song and rap response set. Uncle Jimi Solanke was in the audience, can you imagine that? Of course they gave him the mic but he could barely speak as we all just kept singing, “Story land Story land, Land of music fun and games…”

FELA! left the Broadway and came live to Lagos and it was a successful outing! What was right with it? Loved the production as a whole- lights, set, precision was, as we like to say, On Point! The costumes were bright and colourful, and the vibe (my new favourite word you might have noticed) was good vibrant one! What was wrong with it? There were no Nigerians on that stage! Are they really telling me they couldn’t find ONE Nigerian that could dance? Plus, Africa is a continent, not a country so some of the choreography felt foreign to me as they were steps borrowed from all around Africa. Plus, Fela is such an icon that anyone playing him has gigantic steps to fill.

ONE MIC Naija is one of those events you can always find me supporting or going for. Not only is it all about music, it is about LIVE music, with an eclectic line up of performers! It held at Browns’ Cafe (my sandwich place) and featured fresh sounds from people like Akas, Lancky C, and Sammy. I was excited about seeing Clay live; she is a rock artiste. 19 th Street also really got the crowd on their feet and Pope was the icing on the cake. I was there jumping and chanting “I dey enjoy…” after him! Can’t wait for the next one!

TWITERAVE (yes, twitter addicts actually leave the cyber world and meet in person from time to time) and THE UNDERGROUND were two other events i loved being at! Plus shout out to Gbemi Olateru Olagbegi for treating ladies to a Ladies Night were the drinks were on the house! Pity my favourite drink is black and non-alcoholic! As you can see, Lagos is THE place when it comes to arts, culture and pure fun! So hey, maybe tomorrow, I’ll snooze and leave at 4.30am instead, but I’m glad I’m waking up in Lagos

Don’t Underestimate Your Greatness

By: Josh Hinds

As a whole I think there is a sad tendency in most of us to underestimate just how powerful we are. Just how much greatness lies inside each and every one of us – just waiting to get out?

The reality is if you knew just how special you were – and how much greatness went into making you the unique you that you are I’m convinced you’d immediately know that nothing can truly keep you from achieving what you want in life.

My friend, the journey is not always an easy one – very little of lasting or true value is first paved with an easy road. In fact, upon reflection we often find it’s during the times which we believed to be most challenging that end up eventually serving to make us better, and more prepared to meet with success in our given endeavours.

What I’m suggesting is that the skills it takes to become that which we desire to be are learned most often through times of hardship or unrest. Certainly the good times and study in self-improvement plays a part, but don’t discount the importance of life’s challenges either. In the end all parts of our life can be valuable teachers.

We need only accept that each event – positive or negative can hold in it an opportunity to be made better for having experienced it. Now that’s certainly not to say that we’re going to find any sort of joy in each and every one of life’s events – certainly not the negative ones anyway.

However, I believe it’s worthwhile to look for the lessons that exist in both the good and bad in our lives: being careful not to dwell on the negative. Remember, there is a huge difference between dwelling on – and simply learning from and moving past something.

Always remember that your very presence is a gift to this world. Honour the creator which gave you that gift by developing and sharing your unique talents with the world.

More often than not you will find that you attract into your life what you put out.

It’s Your Life, LIVE BIG!

Domestic violence

Domestic violence abuse in today’s society is not tolerated, regardless if you are the Mother, Father or Child; there is zero tolerance for their violent behavior.Domestic Violence in today’s society is not tolerated, regardless if you are the Mother, Father or Child; there is zero tolerance for their violent behavior. Taking steps to stop the violence in your own home is the only way to break the cycle of your children repeating those same mistakes in their families.

As a child you are taught behaviors that are “normal” from your parents. If your home is filled with violent or controlling behavior your child will either be continued to be abused by a spouse or loved one, or become the abuser itself.
The cycle itself is easy to recognize, changing the cycle is up to you.
A tension build and an argument ensues, yelling and screaming starts, violent behavior, throwing things, hurting you or the children, then guilt, plenty of I am sorry, It won’t happen again, and many times after the heat of the time has passed he or she will give guilt gifts, assurances of love for example “if I did not love you I would not act this way”.

What keeps you in the relationship that is harmful?

Love, Fear, Embarrassment, Low self esteem, and financial reasons.

Do you notice any of the following in your family?

• Controlling behavior, telling you when and where you can go somewhere. Calling to make sure you are there?

• Making you account for all of your time: where you were, who you were with, how long were you there?

• Controlling the finances and having you account for all of your spending.

• Belittle, or degrade you constantly, nothing ever appears good enough

• Curse, yell, scream or shout, normal conversation ends in an argument

• Are you or the children nervous or afraid when you know that person is coming home?

• They have had you alienate all of your family and friends?

• They tell you that you are not “allowed” to do something or you must ask for permission (if adult)

• Hit, smack, pinch, punch, or bite you

• Break things in the house, punching holes in the wall?

• Force you to have sexual relations against your will, or make threats if you don’t?

Learn the ways to identify whether or not someone you know is in a situation of domestic violence. You can help them to safety.

One thing to remember when suspecting someone you know is being abused physically or mentally is to remember that although it is much more common, it is not just females who are abused by the partner. Men can also be abused and it is not just mentally, they can be physically abused as well. It is often much more difficult for a man to come forward or leave the abusive relationship because of the real or imagined “dishonor” he might feel.
Whether the victimized partner is male or female, here are ten ways to help you recognize abuses of various kinds and hopefully help yourself or give someone else the help they will need to break free from an abusive situation of domestic violence and be able to move to a life of safety instead of fear.

1. Be aware that in addition to the more recognizable physical abuse, other abuses are not so identifiable on the surface. These include financial abuse where the abuser makes sure the partner has no access to extra money so they can’t be making plans to leave and are thus totally dependent. Sexual abuse and verbal abuse are not often visible on the surface either. Psychological abuse is sometimes recognizable but often the abused party makes a valiant effort to hide it.

2. Research the signs that will help you to know if someone you know is being abused. Learn them before it becomes too late and keep the signs in mind. If you are wondering whether or not you should research this topic, you most likely already have an idea that it is happening. The signs listed in this article will not be exclusive, so make certain you know them all, including those not listed.

3. Signs of sexual abuse include the abuser telling the victim that they are not good at sexual performance. Other ways to recognize this form of abuse is the abuser forcing sex or forcing the victim to role play with the abusing partner in control of all scenarios. The more common forms of sexual abuse include the unwelcomed groping and grabbing of the victim.

4. The form of abuse that damages the spirit without leaving physical bruises is often justified by the victim as being his or her fault. These are the psychological abuses and they include things like verbally cutting the victim down, criticizing or shaming, and mocking. The insults are often of a personal nature and include things like insults on appearance or how the victim does things. The abuser will often tell the victim things such as they are not lovable, no one else would treat them any better, etc.